His world. Oh, how I want in it, yet, how strange, that he wants in mine. Or theirs rather. A yard full of kids and he is torn between what he knows or what he is comfortable with versus the land of “free play” and social time. He has tried several times to assert himself in their games, but it’s hard. He loves music. Kids Bop mainly, but the radio in general. So, there he sits, in the garage atop little power wheel truck they got from my daddy for their birthday when they were 3 and 4-years-old. He’s listening to music but often stares at the kids jumping in leaves, playing ball in the street, and running wild.
He gets up suddenly and runs out there to get their attention telling them what song is on the radio. He’s overly excited. At least to them. They just stare at him and go back to their game. Not being mean to him or anything. At this age, kids haven’t developed the skills to pretend something is interesting if it isn’t. Except the little girl who comes over. She is very sweet in nature. She is good with him. Like his cousin Olivia, she just seems to connect with him better than most. Oliva laughs sometimes at some of the stuff he does, but not giggling at him. He knows when people do that.

Last week he was upset after school and he told me a story about something that had happened earlier that day. He said, “_______ made me cry today. He smiled at me and I saw him. I did not like that.” To say it broke my heart would be an understatement. But, what do you do? You can’t police the whole world. I just try my best to give him the skills to handle those situations. Hope for the best.

A while back, I flipped on the tv and Forrest Gump was playing. Such a wonderful movie I have seen hundreds of times, but this time was different. Through different eyes. It was to the part where Forrest had ran back home because his mama was dying. Makes a lump come to my throat just typing these words.

 
FORREST:  What’s the matter, Momma?
Momma:    I’m dyin’, Forrest. Come on in, sit down over here.
FORREST:  Why are you dyin’, Momma?
Momma:    It’s my time. It’s just my time. Oh, now, don’t you be afraid, sweetheart. Death is just a part of life. It’s something we’re all destined to do. I didn’t know it, but I was destined to be your momma. I did the best I could.
FORREST:  You did good, Momma.
Momma:    Well, I happened to believe you make your own destiny. You have to do the best with what God gave you.
FORREST:  What’s my destiny, Momma?
Momma:    You’re gonna have to figure that out for yourself. Life is a box of chocolates, Forrest. You never know what you’re gonna get.
 
 
I’ve said it before, but I believe I was destined to be my boys mama. One of my favorite quotes is this one “I thought I would have to teach my child about the world. It turns out I have to teach the world about my child.” Not quite sure who first said this but it rings true a lot of days. Some more than others.
 
The one thing I do wish everyone would teach their kids is to be kind. And, if your kid’s teacher tells you that “Little Johnny” was mean to another kid in class, talk to them. Don’t brush it aside. Don’t not believe the teacher or get mad at the teacher. Don’t say “My kid wouldn’t do that”. Don’t ignore it. Don’t justify it. Fix it. Because “when you know better, you do better” or so I hope….

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