Just Another Crazy Story

Christmas Break Tales…I had every intention of sending it out, but never found the time.

So the other day I had to do the dreaded “big” grocery run…… I am not a fan of these trips to put it mildly. If I have a list it tends to help, although list or no list I can’t seem to process a thought! This turns into time, I don’t have to spare, wasted.

On to the story…

Did I mention that our Kroger is remodelling?? Yep! Right in the middle of the holiday season! I get it, I really do. There really isn’t a good time to do a remodel, but I will say I think there is a very bad time for it. And this is it! There is no “I’m going to run in really quick and grab a few things…” Nope! Paper plates in the chip aisle where it has been for 20 years? No way, José! (Funny story about that phrase later!) They are with the candy now! Capri Suns have to be with the juice, right? Nah, they are just hanging out with the crackers…six aisles over from all other drinks….

I know it will be fine!! I am just not a fan of change. Who knows, maybe they will start the online shopping and delivery. Wouldn’t that be nice?

While I am in there I had probably 5 or 6 people say as they passed me, “I can’t find blueberry muffin mix” or “Where are the peanut butter crackers?” Of course, I try to help them. For the life of me, I can not figure out what possesses me to do these things!! So there I am, directing people to find rice pudding and dental floss… I came so close to grabbing a vest and going to work! But, thought better of it, and went back to hunting for my own stuff…


I will admit, I am crazy! Not crazy, crazy, more of a Mom Brain crazy. Like just now, for example, I am typing away to only look over and see that the pencil sharpener is full so I just drop everything to dump it out! This makes me go into a rant, “These boys don’t do anything! What would people think if they came in here? With our pencil sharpener so full?” (It was only in my head because I am home alone. And remember how I am not crazy, crazy?)  I go to dump it out and can’t get the lid off the sharpener. Ugh! Do I say just forget it? No way! I google the directions to get that thing clean!! (I ❤️you Google!!)

One thing you can say about me is that I’m persistent….Just about the wrong things most of the time….

Anyway, I am running around the store with a full cart when I ran up on this older man, he was on one of those hoveround things, and a woman having a conversation. I was stepping back a bit waiting my turn to grab an item and I see now that this lady took the opportunity to flee… He was a talker!! Ugh!! Now, I don’t want to be rude, but I just didn’t want to do it!!

Small talk…. I hate it! Especially with strangers! But, this wasn’t just small talk. No, he wanted to comment on everything in my cart!! Well just go ahead and beat me. I  hate that!!! But, I was raised right, so I say, “Yeah, that popcorn is good. No, I haven’t tried the gourmet kind”, and so forth. Not too bad because I got away quickly. Whew!

Or so I thought….. I naturally forgot several things on my list with one being toilet paper. As soon as I turn the corner to go down the aisle I saw him. (Damnit!!) The very moment we made I contact I knew I was doomed. He hits the pedal and stops right beside me and proceeds to go into detail about how high the price of toilet paper is, “We have to have it, so what are we to do?” was his remark. Quite loud and with a lot of people around, might I add! Now, how do you even respond to this? I don’t even remember what I said in response! Thankfully feminine hygiene, or gas relief medicine, were not on my list because I wasn’t going to tempt him….

“No way Jośe!” story…

A few months ago Noah and I were doing a puzzle at the kitchen table. He had asked me a question and I jokingly said “No way Jośe!” He looked at me confused and said, “Mama, That’s not my name! It’s Noah!” Lighter side of Autism…

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